Monday, June 19, 2017
Living Beyond The Color Pink...... an organic, evolving journey.: Wonder Woman
Living Beyond The Color Pink...... an organic, evolving journey.: Wonder Woman: Hey y'all....it's me.... Since my last post, I have simply been living day to day, hour to hour, moment to moment. I am workin...
Wonder Woman
Hey y'all....it's me....
Since my last post, I have simply been living day to day, hour to hour, moment to moment. I am working my way through round 2 and encouraged to say the side effects have been more manageable. I am maintaining a routine for wellness, finding success in walking, country heat line dancing, restorative yoga, and planning on adding some light weight work this week. We have been battling some financial beasts, frustrating at best, down right mind fucking at worst. However, we are doing what we can, working through things as they come our way. Sometimes you have to walk into the labyrinthine and duel with the demon and then causally stroll out again.
I also want to say that for me, finding a voice, clearing my head in a blog or a quick Facebook post helps me swipe away the debris which is holding me down. It may seem like ranting, venting, or whining but it is really healing. I am so grateful for my layers and layers of branches on my tree of life. There are some of you who are family, some who are as close as family, school friends, teachers, sports friends, work friends, life friends, friends of friends, friends of friends of friends and so on and so on. Y'all are uniquely special to me and I know y'all are here for me in the power and capacity you are able to be in that moment and I am thankful and grateful for that. I also know that even though I may not be singing my prayers on the rooftop, I know God can hear me every night when I pray and I am grateful and thankful for that. Despite everything, I have much in life to be thankful and grateful for every day.
I feel as if I am in a state of constantly waiting....waiting for test results, waiting for doctor appointments, waiting to see if this treatment is working, waiting to feel better, waiting for a blue mood to pass, waiting for the storm to swirl away, waiting, waiting, waiting! At one of my yoga classes, the instructor read a passage from a book about a woman who is always waiting for something to change or happen in her life and while she is waiting, the essence of being happy with the present is getting lost. The concept resonated with me as I too, am always waiting but for me, there is this fear that if I wait too long, it will be too late.
I have lived a very quiet life. I married young, had my babies young, watched them grow, built a business with my husband young, ebbed and flowed through life from a young age through present. I have never had big dreams and always felt that "my time" would come when all my babies are "off my dime" and then I could seek the things I have wanted to explore. I wouldn't change one single moment of the life I have led. I'm also going to show some vulnerability and say that I have never been the casual adventurer or true independent woman. For many reasons, one being my vision impairment, I have always required what I lovingly refer to as "my seeing eye person"...someone who helps me when I am out exploring, helps me see the stairs ahead, helps me drive down the busy road, or just helps to make sure I don't fall flat on my face. I envy women who freely can hop from one adventure to another all on their own. I marvel at my daughters confidence, tacking new experiences, traveling, seeking amazing jobs, simply being strong, confident, independent women. Look at me, next I am going to sing, "I am woman, hear me roar"...but honestly it would be a lie. For me, it is more like I am woman, hear me new quietly.
With this in mind, I decided offhandedly, to make a "NOT BUCKET LIST, BUCKET LIST". Why is the NOT in front of it, because the thought of creating a list of things to do before my time ends is frankly, depressing. Then a friend reminded me we all should have a bucket list and I threw some superstition and caution to the wind and wrote down a few, dozen, or couple dozen things into a list. Now for those of you who know me, a list is a sacred thing. I love my lists, I keep them clean, and tidy, get a thrill at marking something off, am always adding to them, re writing, editing, etc. This, John feels, I have in my favor because the way he thinks, I will be around for 20 years or more as I will never let my list become complete. I kind of like his thinking.
There are a few problems with this list. First off, you know that song "I wish I had a Million Dollars"....well that says it all. Which is why winning the lottery is on my NOT BUCKET LIST. The second problem with this list is that mention of not being quite so independent....this reminds me of all the things I cannot do alone, of all the things I have not done in my life. Honestly, I am probably one of the few people left in the world who doesn't have a passport, I have hardly traveled in the US let alone outside of it. Today, I sought some independence however, my first solo attempt of knocking something off my NOT BUCKET LIST failed miserably as I never found the place I was looking for, ending up walking too many miles on my own, and being so mad, frustrated, and feeling sorry for myself that I didn't even revel in the success of the beauty of what I was doing. Again, that concept of waiting, waiting, waiting.
After my complete failure this morning, we then went to see Wonder Woman - hence the title of this blog. It's taking a bit of a journey around the pond but I will eventually get to the heart of what is in my head. I started to cry at one point during the movie, not because the movie is sad. It is a pretty damn good movie and I am a HUGE closet wonder woman fan. I think as a young girl I wanted to either be Wonder Woman or a Pink Lady (from Grease). Well, jokes on me because I sort of am a Pink Lady now. Anyway, I digress. During the movie, I was watching this amazing, beautiful, exotic woman battle gun fights, soldiers, and bombs. She used arrows of fire, amazing strength and fighting skills, she could leap, fly, and take down anything in her path and at one point I thought "what if all those bullets were cancer cells, what if I was like Wonder Woman and could just fight and bulldoze the cancer fuckers out of my body and be immortal, an Amazonian Princess and just win this cancer battle for all of human kind" I thought "what if my life could be like a movie and have a happy ending". But as my mood then rapidly deflated and I am having a short lived blue mood I realized that is not going to happen. No worries, I will kick my own ass tomorrow and snap the hell out of it -
imagine the bitch slap from Cher in Moonstruck.
But my reality is sometimes heavy to hold as I am not Wonder Woman. I cannot eradicate cancer from this earth. I am waiting to see and experience this earthly world before.... I am not even a statistic. There are estimated 155,000 woman with Metastatic Breast Cancer (MBC) in the US. However those stats only count woman with MBC de Novo (that is MBC from onset), it does not include those of us who have MBC as a recurrence. So tonight....I am a bit lost in cancer Purgatory. I will stroll my way out again as I always do. I will seek the humble warrior I felt inside me before and I will try again to go back to living day to day, hour to hour, moment to moment with the intention of experiencing something on my NOT BUCKET LIST soon.
Peace ✌
Jo
PS....I woke up today, line danced for 30 minutes and did 2 sets of biceps and triceps. That should be the trick for today 💪💥👊
Since my last post, I have simply been living day to day, hour to hour, moment to moment. I am working my way through round 2 and encouraged to say the side effects have been more manageable. I am maintaining a routine for wellness, finding success in walking, country heat line dancing, restorative yoga, and planning on adding some light weight work this week. We have been battling some financial beasts, frustrating at best, down right mind fucking at worst. However, we are doing what we can, working through things as they come our way. Sometimes you have to walk into the labyrinthine and duel with the demon and then causally stroll out again.
I also want to say that for me, finding a voice, clearing my head in a blog or a quick Facebook post helps me swipe away the debris which is holding me down. It may seem like ranting, venting, or whining but it is really healing. I am so grateful for my layers and layers of branches on my tree of life. There are some of you who are family, some who are as close as family, school friends, teachers, sports friends, work friends, life friends, friends of friends, friends of friends of friends and so on and so on. Y'all are uniquely special to me and I know y'all are here for me in the power and capacity you are able to be in that moment and I am thankful and grateful for that. I also know that even though I may not be singing my prayers on the rooftop, I know God can hear me every night when I pray and I am grateful and thankful for that. Despite everything, I have much in life to be thankful and grateful for every day.
I feel as if I am in a state of constantly waiting....waiting for test results, waiting for doctor appointments, waiting to see if this treatment is working, waiting to feel better, waiting for a blue mood to pass, waiting for the storm to swirl away, waiting, waiting, waiting! At one of my yoga classes, the instructor read a passage from a book about a woman who is always waiting for something to change or happen in her life and while she is waiting, the essence of being happy with the present is getting lost. The concept resonated with me as I too, am always waiting but for me, there is this fear that if I wait too long, it will be too late.
I have lived a very quiet life. I married young, had my babies young, watched them grow, built a business with my husband young, ebbed and flowed through life from a young age through present. I have never had big dreams and always felt that "my time" would come when all my babies are "off my dime" and then I could seek the things I have wanted to explore. I wouldn't change one single moment of the life I have led. I'm also going to show some vulnerability and say that I have never been the casual adventurer or true independent woman. For many reasons, one being my vision impairment, I have always required what I lovingly refer to as "my seeing eye person"...someone who helps me when I am out exploring, helps me see the stairs ahead, helps me drive down the busy road, or just helps to make sure I don't fall flat on my face. I envy women who freely can hop from one adventure to another all on their own. I marvel at my daughters confidence, tacking new experiences, traveling, seeking amazing jobs, simply being strong, confident, independent women. Look at me, next I am going to sing, "I am woman, hear me roar"...but honestly it would be a lie. For me, it is more like I am woman, hear me new quietly.
With this in mind, I decided offhandedly, to make a "NOT BUCKET LIST, BUCKET LIST". Why is the NOT in front of it, because the thought of creating a list of things to do before my time ends is frankly, depressing. Then a friend reminded me we all should have a bucket list and I threw some superstition and caution to the wind and wrote down a few, dozen, or couple dozen things into a list. Now for those of you who know me, a list is a sacred thing. I love my lists, I keep them clean, and tidy, get a thrill at marking something off, am always adding to them, re writing, editing, etc. This, John feels, I have in my favor because the way he thinks, I will be around for 20 years or more as I will never let my list become complete. I kind of like his thinking.
There are a few problems with this list. First off, you know that song "I wish I had a Million Dollars"....well that says it all. Which is why winning the lottery is on my NOT BUCKET LIST. The second problem with this list is that mention of not being quite so independent....this reminds me of all the things I cannot do alone, of all the things I have not done in my life. Honestly, I am probably one of the few people left in the world who doesn't have a passport, I have hardly traveled in the US let alone outside of it. Today, I sought some independence however, my first solo attempt of knocking something off my NOT BUCKET LIST failed miserably as I never found the place I was looking for, ending up walking too many miles on my own, and being so mad, frustrated, and feeling sorry for myself that I didn't even revel in the success of the beauty of what I was doing. Again, that concept of waiting, waiting, waiting.
After my complete failure this morning, we then went to see Wonder Woman - hence the title of this blog. It's taking a bit of a journey around the pond but I will eventually get to the heart of what is in my head. I started to cry at one point during the movie, not because the movie is sad. It is a pretty damn good movie and I am a HUGE closet wonder woman fan. I think as a young girl I wanted to either be Wonder Woman or a Pink Lady (from Grease). Well, jokes on me because I sort of am a Pink Lady now. Anyway, I digress. During the movie, I was watching this amazing, beautiful, exotic woman battle gun fights, soldiers, and bombs. She used arrows of fire, amazing strength and fighting skills, she could leap, fly, and take down anything in her path and at one point I thought "what if all those bullets were cancer cells, what if I was like Wonder Woman and could just fight and bulldoze the cancer fuckers out of my body and be immortal, an Amazonian Princess and just win this cancer battle for all of human kind" I thought "what if my life could be like a movie and have a happy ending". But as my mood then rapidly deflated and I am having a short lived blue mood I realized that is not going to happen. No worries, I will kick my own ass tomorrow and snap the hell out of it -
imagine the bitch slap from Cher in Moonstruck.
But my reality is sometimes heavy to hold as I am not Wonder Woman. I cannot eradicate cancer from this earth. I am waiting to see and experience this earthly world before.... I am not even a statistic. There are estimated 155,000 woman with Metastatic Breast Cancer (MBC) in the US. However those stats only count woman with MBC de Novo (that is MBC from onset), it does not include those of us who have MBC as a recurrence. So tonight....I am a bit lost in cancer Purgatory. I will stroll my way out again as I always do. I will seek the humble warrior I felt inside me before and I will try again to go back to living day to day, hour to hour, moment to moment with the intention of experiencing something on my NOT BUCKET LIST soon.
Peace ✌
Jo
PS....I woke up today, line danced for 30 minutes and did 2 sets of biceps and triceps. That should be the trick for today 💪💥👊
Tuesday, June 6, 2017
Living Beyond The Color Pink...... an organic, evolving journey.: Round 2, angels, love and thriving
Living Beyond The Color Pink...... an organic, evolving journey.: Round 2, angels, love and thriving: Hey y'all....it's me.... I am bit of a squirrel chaser today so bear with me as I weave my tales...LOL...look at that awful pun....
Round 2, angels, love and thriving
Hey y'all....it's me....
I am bit of a squirrel chaser today so bear with me as I weave my tales...LOL...look at that awful pun....that one is for you John and Bob.
If I could, I would climb to the highest rooftop and shout in my loudest and clearest voice a BIG THANK YOU! There are angels amongst us, who walk alongside us on the streets, stand in line at the grocery store, take classes with us, eat out with us, chat with us at games and activities. They are quiet angels, ones who do not look for recognition or praise but ones whose hearts are huge, who just want to help, who care so much, who make me smile, and I will never be able to hug them tight and whisper thank you in their ears. So for all of you quiet angels out there who have anonymously sent me gift cards, a little spending money, and messages of inspiration here is my thank you. I, we, are forever grateful for the help and inspiration. I do not have the right words to convey what it means to us...every little bit helps to empower us in knowing this is going to be ok.
For those of you who are not a Facebook friend, let me digress a little. Sometimes when I do not have the energy to sit at my desk and write a full blog, I will post little tidbits on my Facebook page. You see, I am the only human left in the world, who does not own a laptop or a tablet of some sort where I can write from the leisure of anywhere. Maybe that is a good thing because I possibly could be writing all day, everyday...oh my! A little while back, I threw a post on Facebook about all the little cancer incidentals that add up. The financial strain that no one wants to talk about. People often think it will be medical bills that could put a patient under water financially and that is the case for some and possibly could be the case for me in the future. What I was referring to in that post, are all the little things that are not in the family budget. The extra medicines, creams, lotions, foods, drivers, take out meals, etc that one doesn't expect when planning their monthly budgets because let's face it....no one has a "in case of cancer fund". I don't know about you, but I am an anal Annie when it comes to bills and money and budgets. We are self employed, and I am not working right now and I have a kid in college...need I say more. Don't get me wrong....we are OK...but when I open the mail and there is a gift card to Walgreens, it does make me want to weep a little with relief. Everyone has their shit and times are hard for everyone, this is not a plea for money....do not get me wrong. Please. I just want to say how much we appreciate these silent gifts and how we are being very responsible with using them.
I have started round 2 of the magic beans that I take daily for 21 days. For those who think I am really eating beans, no, that would be my oral chemotherapy. Round 2 has been slightly more successful...SHHHHHH....don't tempt karma and say that out loud. I have learned what I can and cannot eat, I am managing my nausea with tea and a little ginger mostly, I am still working on the no appetite in the beginning days of my rounds but I am a work in progress. I have developed very dry and itchy skin so currently working on trial and error in finding a lotion or cream that will work. I thought about using olive oil but didn't want to smell like a salad and feel like a greasy french fry. Not to mention, ruining my clothes...YIKES. Plus I have the added bonus of a new parlor trick where I can fall asleep sitting up, laying down, even standing, whether it is quiet or loud or even if I am in mid conversation. For this, I am working on finding down time in each day. LOL. So if i fall asleep at my next hair cut or while hanging outside with friends and neighbors, please do not take it personal, it is just the magic beans lowering my white and red cell count a smidge.
There is something else I have had to face and maybe that is why I am working so hard at adding a little more love into my life. Last week, I had to say goodbye to a friend who is moving out of state and this week I will be saying goodbye to another set of dear friends who are moving out of the country. The first place my head goes, is what if....what if I don't see them again.....what if cancer.... That led me to a dark and dreary place that sabotaged everything I was doing and thinking - enter cancer bitch stage left and right and center. I needed to get myself together and work on me a little bit so that I can quiet the bitch down for now. I needed a little KUM BA YA.
I decided on Sunday after feeling as if I was treading water and going no where, I needed to develop some routine in my new life, maybe that would quiet things down. Sunday, I went to the National Cancer Survivors Day at the Morton Arboretum. First, you have no idea how badly I just wanted to wander around that place and get lost in the green and serene beauty surrounding me. Sadly, it was hot, I was not feeling the best, and entered the day with a low battery which quickly died down to nothing. Feeling all of this, I was only able to partake in the festivities of the event. Which entailed some food, some raffles (of which I won nothing), and several speakers. These speakers had amazing stories of surviviorship, one even mentioned being being a thriver. These stories were filled with tales of compassion, encouragement, some heartache, but overall a sense of accomplishment for living with, among, and together with cancer. I ended my day, not on the highest of notes as my magic bean was kicking my ass. It was then I decided....this is just not going to fly with me.
I am not living a fairy tale of wonder. I am not delusional or high. But I knew at that time Sunday evening, I wasn't thriving and I wasn't too happy about it. I made a plan. I wrote it down and decided I was going to work at it, I am a work in progress and sometimes we need to step back and give ourselves a pep talk. I decided I needed to face my fear of getting back to fitness. I had tried the week before and it was an epic failure of the highest proportion. I had set my goal to high, thinking I could jump back on the horse and fall into a place I was before this twist of fate changed my life. So this week, I wrote down exactly what I was going to do. It involves a little walking, a little swimming (loosely defined), maybe a restorative yoga class, and get ready....a little Country Heat courtesy of Beachbody on Demand. Now y'all...I am not a country girl but there is something about this workout that makes me laugh and feel somewhat successful. If you were to peer in my window while I am dancing along to the routines in this workout, you would probably bust a gut laughing your ass off. It is literally the craziest thing, I dance around my workout room, looking like a jackass but it is just what I need. It makes me smile, it is low impact, and I can take it slow and steady like riding a very old pony.
My plan involved more than just my workouts. I am scheduling what I would like to accomplish each day so that I am not only being efficient at being a mom, wife, CEO of my home, bookkeeper of many small businesses, chef, chauffeur, etc but also allowing myself time and opportunity to do at least one thing that makes me feel like I am living my life. I am really good at tasks and can get caught up in "just getting it off the list" but then I had this feeling of not living. So everyday, I am trying to read (nothing heavy, just easy summer reads), or float in my pool, or go out with my kids, or husband or friends, or whatever makes me feel like I can say I lived today. I think this will help me say and believe I AM THRIVING.
I am dreaming of places I want to see near and far and saying to John...let's do this. I want to go to the Netherlands next summer...let's do this. I want to go to Nashville again...let's do this. I am NOT making a bucket list of what to do before I die....that is not happening. I just want to live and this helps me feel like I am living. Part of my plan also involves a lot more self talk, positive sentences with a little tough love, a little 5 minute meditation, exploring hypnosis, reiki and a lot of other forms of self care. There is an egocentric part of being a cancer patient, I am working on accepting that and allowing myself these opportunities so I can thrive. I re read messages of encouragement, I look at my book "you are loved" a photo book from a dear friend daily, I read inspirational devotional messages, listen to Joel Osteen, and Ascension Presents, and I pray often for God to heal me. I AM GOING TO THRIVE.
We all my friends are works in progress. We all have ups and downs and we all have our own shit to deal with...it is how we face that shit and how we decide to shovel it out of our lives which will help us all THRIVE.
Peace ✌
Jo
If I could, I would climb to the highest rooftop and shout in my loudest and clearest voice a BIG THANK YOU! There are angels amongst us, who walk alongside us on the streets, stand in line at the grocery store, take classes with us, eat out with us, chat with us at games and activities. They are quiet angels, ones who do not look for recognition or praise but ones whose hearts are huge, who just want to help, who care so much, who make me smile, and I will never be able to hug them tight and whisper thank you in their ears. So for all of you quiet angels out there who have anonymously sent me gift cards, a little spending money, and messages of inspiration here is my thank you. I, we, are forever grateful for the help and inspiration. I do not have the right words to convey what it means to us...every little bit helps to empower us in knowing this is going to be ok.
For those of you who are not a Facebook friend, let me digress a little. Sometimes when I do not have the energy to sit at my desk and write a full blog, I will post little tidbits on my Facebook page. You see, I am the only human left in the world, who does not own a laptop or a tablet of some sort where I can write from the leisure of anywhere. Maybe that is a good thing because I possibly could be writing all day, everyday...oh my! A little while back, I threw a post on Facebook about all the little cancer incidentals that add up. The financial strain that no one wants to talk about. People often think it will be medical bills that could put a patient under water financially and that is the case for some and possibly could be the case for me in the future. What I was referring to in that post, are all the little things that are not in the family budget. The extra medicines, creams, lotions, foods, drivers, take out meals, etc that one doesn't expect when planning their monthly budgets because let's face it....no one has a "in case of cancer fund". I don't know about you, but I am an anal Annie when it comes to bills and money and budgets. We are self employed, and I am not working right now and I have a kid in college...need I say more. Don't get me wrong....we are OK...but when I open the mail and there is a gift card to Walgreens, it does make me want to weep a little with relief. Everyone has their shit and times are hard for everyone, this is not a plea for money....do not get me wrong. Please. I just want to say how much we appreciate these silent gifts and how we are being very responsible with using them.
I have started round 2 of the magic beans that I take daily for 21 days. For those who think I am really eating beans, no, that would be my oral chemotherapy. Round 2 has been slightly more successful...SHHHHHH....don't tempt karma and say that out loud. I have learned what I can and cannot eat, I am managing my nausea with tea and a little ginger mostly, I am still working on the no appetite in the beginning days of my rounds but I am a work in progress. I have developed very dry and itchy skin so currently working on trial and error in finding a lotion or cream that will work. I thought about using olive oil but didn't want to smell like a salad and feel like a greasy french fry. Not to mention, ruining my clothes...YIKES. Plus I have the added bonus of a new parlor trick where I can fall asleep sitting up, laying down, even standing, whether it is quiet or loud or even if I am in mid conversation. For this, I am working on finding down time in each day. LOL. So if i fall asleep at my next hair cut or while hanging outside with friends and neighbors, please do not take it personal, it is just the magic beans lowering my white and red cell count a smidge.
There is something else I have had to face and maybe that is why I am working so hard at adding a little more love into my life. Last week, I had to say goodbye to a friend who is moving out of state and this week I will be saying goodbye to another set of dear friends who are moving out of the country. The first place my head goes, is what if....what if I don't see them again.....what if cancer.... That led me to a dark and dreary place that sabotaged everything I was doing and thinking - enter cancer bitch stage left and right and center. I needed to get myself together and work on me a little bit so that I can quiet the bitch down for now. I needed a little KUM BA YA.
I decided on Sunday after feeling as if I was treading water and going no where, I needed to develop some routine in my new life, maybe that would quiet things down. Sunday, I went to the National Cancer Survivors Day at the Morton Arboretum. First, you have no idea how badly I just wanted to wander around that place and get lost in the green and serene beauty surrounding me. Sadly, it was hot, I was not feeling the best, and entered the day with a low battery which quickly died down to nothing. Feeling all of this, I was only able to partake in the festivities of the event. Which entailed some food, some raffles (of which I won nothing), and several speakers. These speakers had amazing stories of surviviorship, one even mentioned being being a thriver. These stories were filled with tales of compassion, encouragement, some heartache, but overall a sense of accomplishment for living with, among, and together with cancer. I ended my day, not on the highest of notes as my magic bean was kicking my ass. It was then I decided....this is just not going to fly with me.
I am not living a fairy tale of wonder. I am not delusional or high. But I knew at that time Sunday evening, I wasn't thriving and I wasn't too happy about it. I made a plan. I wrote it down and decided I was going to work at it, I am a work in progress and sometimes we need to step back and give ourselves a pep talk. I decided I needed to face my fear of getting back to fitness. I had tried the week before and it was an epic failure of the highest proportion. I had set my goal to high, thinking I could jump back on the horse and fall into a place I was before this twist of fate changed my life. So this week, I wrote down exactly what I was going to do. It involves a little walking, a little swimming (loosely defined), maybe a restorative yoga class, and get ready....a little Country Heat courtesy of Beachbody on Demand. Now y'all...I am not a country girl but there is something about this workout that makes me laugh and feel somewhat successful. If you were to peer in my window while I am dancing along to the routines in this workout, you would probably bust a gut laughing your ass off. It is literally the craziest thing, I dance around my workout room, looking like a jackass but it is just what I need. It makes me smile, it is low impact, and I can take it slow and steady like riding a very old pony.
My plan involved more than just my workouts. I am scheduling what I would like to accomplish each day so that I am not only being efficient at being a mom, wife, CEO of my home, bookkeeper of many small businesses, chef, chauffeur, etc but also allowing myself time and opportunity to do at least one thing that makes me feel like I am living my life. I am really good at tasks and can get caught up in "just getting it off the list" but then I had this feeling of not living. So everyday, I am trying to read (nothing heavy, just easy summer reads), or float in my pool, or go out with my kids, or husband or friends, or whatever makes me feel like I can say I lived today. I think this will help me say and believe I AM THRIVING.
I am dreaming of places I want to see near and far and saying to John...let's do this. I want to go to the Netherlands next summer...let's do this. I want to go to Nashville again...let's do this. I am NOT making a bucket list of what to do before I die....that is not happening. I just want to live and this helps me feel like I am living. Part of my plan also involves a lot more self talk, positive sentences with a little tough love, a little 5 minute meditation, exploring hypnosis, reiki and a lot of other forms of self care. There is an egocentric part of being a cancer patient, I am working on accepting that and allowing myself these opportunities so I can thrive. I re read messages of encouragement, I look at my book "you are loved" a photo book from a dear friend daily, I read inspirational devotional messages, listen to Joel Osteen, and Ascension Presents, and I pray often for God to heal me. I AM GOING TO THRIVE.
We all my friends are works in progress. We all have ups and downs and we all have our own shit to deal with...it is how we face that shit and how we decide to shovel it out of our lives which will help us all THRIVE.
Peace ✌
Jo
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)